I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
