i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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