It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
