i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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