I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
