She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
