my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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