And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
