Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
