omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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