8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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