Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
