Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
