I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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