dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
