it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
