Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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