Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
