Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
