If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
