is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
