You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize