i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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