I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
