I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
