I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
