Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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