I want to make a zoo with you.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
