YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
