My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize