okay pat passed out under dana's car
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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