So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
