I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
