Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize