Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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