She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
