There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
