I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it's great music for shaving your balls
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
