well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
