dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
