I cannot find my penis.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize