dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
