I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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