She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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