Can Purell be used as lube?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
this is an emotional support booty call
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
