im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
