there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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