Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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