no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
