one word: firstdatebathroomanal
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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