if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
