Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
