Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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