I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
