Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
