we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
