Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
