I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
