you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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