porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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