So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it was like eating out sand paper
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
