we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize